My Gastric Bypass Surgery

Well today is the 4th day of the emotional issues with food. I've managed a slice of corned beef today, spread out over the afternoon. I tried to have some of the pasta I cooked for my hubby and son but had to spit it out as it was making me retch.

I think hubbys beginning to get suspicious. First thing he asked me when I got in from work at 12.30pm was have you had lunch? Then an hour later what did you have for lunch? Feels horrid lying to him. He's been out for an hour this evening and again first question when he got in was have you had dinner? He didn't ask what but it's not as if there are any dishes on the side to show I've had anything. I thought about creating some but that would be devious.

Writing yesterday made me really think, and I did end up forcing down a bowl of weight watchers soup for dinner last night.

Today, I went to Makro and Asda early on, and had a bit of a funny turn. My legs just went to jelly and I didn't have any energy to walk round Asda. I managed to get what I need and picked up a low fat wrap. Trying to eat it was horrid. I was baulking and wretching but managed to eat about 1/4 of it. It did help but I still feel quite wobbly now.

Hubby is back home, he's so used to me eating seperately that he hasn't noticed at all.

Hello readers,

I've been thinking long and hard about whether to write this post, and what to write. I've got to a point were emotionally I don't want to eat. I haven't eaten anything since Thursday, except 2 protein shakes. I'm not hungry, which makes it very easy. I'm still taking all my vitamins etc.

At the moment, I feel very fat and my stomach skin is affecting me so much. I know in my head that it's far better than how I looked before hand but my heart thinks differently.

I think that the start of it is arguing with hubby. I feel completely out of control in my marriage and extremely vulnerable.